When You Leave Me
by Blitz Babe
Summary: I always felt sorry for poor ChiChi. I mean, Goku's always running out on her. This is a short one-shot from ChiChi's POV that takes place after GT ends. Please R&R!


I sit alone in this desolate world and wonder why I am not with you. Have you left me this time? Am I always to be alone? I have our children, but they have grown away and apart. That is what is best for them. But still, I feel so empty. Why do you always choose to never return? Was it me? Was being with me really all that bad? You say it is for the world. But what is the world when people like you cannot be in it? I shall tell you what it is. It is a cold and barren place which holds only anguish. I wish it did not have to be you. Why couldn't fate have picked another? Why you?!? I let out a sob, and for once am glad that there is no one left in this house to hear me cry. Deep down I know that there was no choice, that it was always meant to be you. But sometimes it is so hard for me. Many others wanted it, but you were the one who had it, you were the best among them all. To the very end you never ceased to amaze me. But it scared me too, because I knew that some day you would do this, that some day you would go forever. Tears run down my cheeks and I clutch the bed sheets tightly. There will be no sleep for me when I am like this. I feel as though I am made of stone. This bed is so big and unforgiving when I am alone in it. But the truly sad part is that I know all too well what it is like to feel this way. I felt it every time you left, every day you were gone from me. It is an ache which only one thing can cure. And now that thing has gone for good. You have gone for good. Sadly I roll over, my fingers gently touching the fabric of your pillow, where your face should have been. 'Goku. I miss you.' I think, clenching my eyes shut as if that might block out the pain. But it doesn't. All it does is bring your face to my mind, and make me sadder still. Unable to take it for any longer, I fling the covers aside and stand up. "Damn you Son Goku! Damn you for leaving me. Oh why do I have to love you so much? It's not fair!" I sob, unsure why I spoke aloud. I am so sad and so angry, and so very alone all at once that it hurts to even breath. So I shout. I scream and rage into an empty house and a hopeless night outside it's walls. I yell about how he always ate and then left, how he was always dragging Gohan away, how he left me to raise our sons all alone. I yell about all the times he never used the door, and how he was constantly leaving me to fight some far-off villain. It is only when I am hoarse an exhausted that I stop. I feel as though the life has been sucked out of me as I fall back against the bed once more. Part of me hopes that I have exhausted myself to sleep; I do not wish to think of this any longer. All the same, I cannot help it, and memories of his handsome face and innocent smile come rushing back to me. And his voice. It was always so sweet and full of life. "Aw, ChiChi, don't be mad. I promise I'll use the door next time!" "Hey ChiChi! What's for dinner?" "Wow! Gohan said it! He said Daddy! Do you believe it?" "Look, ChiChi, I found some snap-dragons for you." "I have to do this, I'm the only one who can." "I love you." I grab my head as though I can block the sound, fooling myself into thinking it will help somehow. How can I be happy if all I think about is him? "He's never coming back. He left me all alone here." I murmur, unable to cease the wave of memories rushing through me. The day we were married, the day I told him he would be a father, the first time we met, the look on his face when he held Gohan in his arms, how sad he would get when I was sad. I remember when he almost died of a heart virus, and when he whisked our son off to make a warrior out of him. I remember the day I learned he was killed, and the day he came back, but for a tournament and not for me. It was never for me. Fighting was Goku's first love, I was a distant second. How can you compete with something you can't even see? I tried to root it out of him, but it would never work. Secretly I curse that. Was I really so little to him that he would rather fight another than be with me? Perhaps he never really loved me. A pang darts across my soul as I think of this. The feeling is all too familiar. Many nights I would lay awake and wondered if he ever really loved me as I did him, or if I was just a good meal every night and a warm bed to climb into. Sometimes I even wondered if he understood that kind of love at all. Oh, I knew he would protect me and his sons with all his might. But then that's fighting, isn't it? When it came right down to it I could never make him stay. Did that mean I was a failure as a wife? "Never." The voice startles me so much I wonder if I have even heard it at all. Knitting my brows, I blink past tear-stained eyes into the darkness of the room. My breath catches in my throat as I see him. Right there, standing in front of the window. "G-Goku?" I ask, wondering if I am hallucinating. With that innocent smile of his he nods, and I launch myself into him fiercely. "You came back! Oh thank Kami, you came back!" I sob into his shoulder. His strong arms wrap around me, and I feel all my pain begin to ebb away. He was back. My Goku came back to me. Right now I wouldn't let go of him for all the world. Gently his hands pry me back, and I look up into his deep, sad eyes. Sad? Why would he be sad for returning? Didn't he want to come back? "Goku, what's wrong?" I ask, my voice trembling with the fear of what his answer may be. "ChiChi, I'm not back for good." He says sadly. My face contorts into an expression of pain and sadness. I spin away from him, unable to look at his familiar form any longer. "No Goku." I whisper. "No. I cannot let you do this to me again. You can't just come back and then leave me once more. Don't you see? I can't take it! I die every time you leave me!" I say, my voice rising as my all-too-famous temper flares. I may love him, but I still have my limits. Even he cannot keep treating me this way for so long. "Either stay with me forever, or leave me this very second, but stop playing this cruel game!" I cry. My eyes squeeze shut then, and the world goes black.  
  
I open my eyes and find myself wrapped up in my covers. I blink and fight back a yawn. So, it was all just a dream then. Sadly I pull myself up, but stop as I realise there is weight against me. Looking down, I feel my heart jump into my throat, as I see the familiar shape of a strong arm across my waist. Ever so slowly, for I am slightly afraid that it might not be real, I look over and see Goku's sleeping face. I swallow hard. Is this real? Is he truly here? Suddenly his dark eyes flicker open, and then catch my own. For a moment we both look at each other, and then gently I feel a great burden lift itself from my heart. Then the mood is vanquished as Goku lets loose a massive yawn and stretches his arms wide. "Wow, that was some night, huh ChiChi? So, what's for breakfast?" He asks. I almost cry. When I don't answer him, Goku shrugs and gets up. He begins to pull his old training gi on, and heads for the door. 'Does this mean he's here for good?' I wonder. Then, just as before the sound of the door clicking shut behind him fills my ears, I hear an almost inaudible 'Yes'. 


End file.
